How Easy It Can Be

This is how easy it can be for other people:

1. Decide one day: Hey, I am going to write a novel.

2. Write one draft of novel.

3. Show friends. (Must have friends in order to do this.)

4. Rewrite in, like, two weeks.

5. Decide: Hey, I am ready to get a literary agent.

6. Send book to three agents. Do not query, do not follow sample-chapter/SASE rules, just send the whole damn thing in and then call agents to boot.

7. Get three offers from three agents.

8. Mull over who you like best. Talk to other writers who are also looking for agents about how you have three people interested and ask them who you should choose. (It is not any of your concern that this may make the other writers contemplate burning their own novels and/or suicide.)

9. Pick agent.

10. Sit back and have agent sell book.

The above is a true story. I have seen it happen before; I am seeing it happen now. No, it is not happening to me.

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