This is a constant: my fear of time slipping past me, things I should've would've could've done, had I had more time. Impatience is my worst fault, or at least the one that comes up most often. I want to have done so much more than I have. I shouldn't be obsessing over the revision of one novel—by now I should have written a whole other one and be sending it out! I get angry at myself when I think of how many days I've wasted (let's not count) and then I get immobilized by the anger and then I get angry for being immobilized and…you get the idea. Calendars and clocks make it all the worse, being constantly aware of the hours I've "lost" and the days, months, full year now in which nothing of consequence was accomplished. I need to stop obsessing over tomorrow and yesterday and just walk around in today. Yeah, I really should do that. But right now I have a doctor's appointment and then work till 6:30 or so and then a freelance copyediting project that's due soon and I really need to get started and so I guess that means I'll have to determine my new life philosophy tomorrow. Or next week.
This weekend I'd better write something good.