And I Lean…

I'm leaning toward no.

As in, no major revision.

I want to do a few character tweaks, following some recent feedback I got from a friend in the film industry, to make sure my intentions are clear. I don't think it will be too much work, and I think the manuscript will be better.

But other than that no. No new middle. No alien abduction. No chunk of my heart gouged out and slopped down on these pages (again).

Then I will approach indie presses, agentless. I've always wanted an agent—I once worked for a literary agency, so I know how much a (good) agent can do for an author. But if I don't get an agent for this book, so be it. I have to move on, obviously. As so many of you can see, I'm clearly driving myself batty. It's sad. And silly. Especially when there are so many more things I want to write…

Thank you for the kind comments. I've been in an impenetrable cloud of indecisiveness for a long while now. And to think there are people out there who don't even know me but who think I should keep going, keep trying, well, it's a wonderful thing.

It's true I want to write something new. Last night while drifting off to sleep, my new novel came to life against my closed eyelids. I learned things about my new narrator I didn't know before that night—she's itching to come out on the page. And if I stick with this decision I can write the new book. I've grown since I wrote the manuscript I've been agonizing over. I want to say new things, spend time with new characters. Is that so wrong?


5 thoughts on “And I Lean…

  1. Annika June 25, 2006 / 11:52 pm

    I don’t think it will be so bad, not having an agent. It might even be a good thing, for now. Neil Gaiman didn’t have an agent for years and years. So obviously it can work.

    But I do think alien abduction could be good….

  2. Helen June 26, 2006 / 12:41 am

    I went through similar feeings of disappointment after the 35 Agent Rejections of 2005. Then an author I know told me she had twice had an agent and neither of them had done anything to help her sell her work. This was when she was an established writer with publications behind her. She decided to “go it alone” and is now very successful. What she told me gave me hope that I can get my work published without an agent. My current approach is like yours, to send out to small publishers.

    I get frustrated at the idea that my future lies in other people’s hands, that another person’s decision can stop my progress. I found myself thinking over and over again last year: “These agents aren’t even reading what I send them. How can I ever get my novel published?” Then I thought: “No. My future lies in my own hands. I can do this by myself.”

    Go with your instincts!

  3. yojo June 26, 2006 / 7:39 am


  4. bloglily June 26, 2006 / 11:57 am

    Nope. Sounds just right. I mean, just write. Oh heavens, you know what I mean. The new novel sounds great. And if you are looking for a pretty painless way to do agent submissions, there is always Writer’s Relief. A poet friend who has had much success placing his poems uses this service and speaks highly of the people there. Not vampire-like, nice people, and there is something he likes very much about sending THEM the rejection slips. But whatever it is that happens, it certainly sounds like you will really enjoy getting on to the next thing. Good luck!

  5. slynne June 26, 2006 / 4:54 pm

    I can’t wait to read about your progress thru your newest novel! I think it is time for you, and I think that being a writer is like being a parent. You do all you can for a work, and then let it set out into the world on its own. With that new novel dancing behind your eyelids, it is time to let the other one begin to make its journey.

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