A Deadline of My Own

The advice on my last post was really helpful—thank you. I spent last night seeking out fellowships and residencies to apply to this year (I still think of “years” as I did when I was in school…) and I made up a nice list for myself in iCal. The first deadline is in September. I feel all energetic and excited when I think of it. I go into each application process telling myself not to get excited, talking myself down from the fantasies that come with thinking you might have a shot. But always deep in there I can’t help but hope I might have a shot. The best ones are when I’ve talked myself down so often and for so long I really do think it’s impossible. Then the letter comes—a big packet, always a good sign?—and even then I’m cautious. Seeing a yes on the page then is the best surprise in the world.

So… I could be heading into another year of rejections. Or I could be heading toward one yes. Just one.

September 15 is my most favorite deadline of the fall. Every other deadline belongs to one of my freelance projects, but September 15 is mine. I hope I make it in time.

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