Revision Nightmare

I woke but did not want to be awake. Then asleep again I was dreaming of the revision to the story—what changes have been asked for, what is wanted—and the words were moving blobs coming from my fingers; they did not want to set down on the page because I didn’t want them to be there. The scene I worked on this week will have to be cut, I knew it, in sleep and then again when awake. Why? Because I hate it. Because I don’t want it there. This was in my dream just as it’s here now. Probably I wasn’t really asleep because I was constantly aware of my surroundings, aware of time leaking away, aware of 8:02 am and then 8:11 am and then 8:30. I forced myself up. I had an unnameable sense of dread. I might not be able to do it, I thought in the shower, do the revision the way the editor wants it. Then again I might. The dream sure wasn’t giving me any answers.

I wish I didn’t have to do this. But I have cut the scene and am now, in another window, starting over.

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3 thoughts on “Revision Nightmare

  1. C(h)ristine August 26, 2006 / 5:07 pm

    oh, revision is so painful isn’t it!

  2. nova August 26, 2006 / 5:11 pm

    I know, and right now it really hurts!

  3. yojo August 26, 2006 / 7:20 pm

    “—and the words were moving blobs coming from my fingers; they did not want to set down on the page because I didn’t want them to be there…”
    I have not heard such a spot-on metaphor for making changes that other people want in a long time. I wish I could buy you (and your dreaming mind) a coffee.

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