The Day I Said No

I was asked if I wanted to write another one of these series books for next season. (The first draft of the one I’m writing now is due on Monday.)

I considered. I sat there a minute or two, looking at the email, feeling inside myself to see how I should respond.

I wanted to say no, because I’m tired, so tired, and also I want to write other things.

I wanted to say yes, because I do like writing them more than any of the other assignments I’ve had, and because I’m sort of tied to the series. I have real affection for it now.

I said no. I can’t believe I said no. Well, really what I said is that I wanted to, but I needed a break, and maybe I could do one in the future. And you know what happened? They said okay, and that was that.

I feel like I lost out on something. I feel sad.

Also I feel relieved. I feel like the weeks are opening up—once I get through all the deadlines I already said yes to—the free weeks up ahead. That time is far away, but it’s there. I saved it for myself, and for what? I don’t yet know. I hope I don’t regret this decision later.

5 thoughts on “The Day I Said No

  1. Annika September 27, 2006 / 9:07 pm

    That’s wonderful! I’m proud of you. You need this break.

  2. nova September 27, 2006 / 9:12 pm

    Annika, Oh, it was really, really hard to say no.

  3. e September 29, 2006 / 1:23 am

    i’m so glad you’re taking this break from writing so you can write! i simply can’t wait any longer for you to start your new novel. love it.

  4. Helen September 29, 2006 / 7:22 am

    Sometimes saying no can be very freeing. That opening up feeling you had says a lot about whether it was the right or wrong decision. I think it was your heart speaking when you said no.

  5. bloglily September 29, 2006 / 5:32 pm

    I think that must have taken a lot of courage, Nova. I’m terribly impressed and inspired.

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