Kick Me

I am in need of a good kick in the pants. I thought, for some moments, that this weekend might be it: I ran into a fellow graduate of my MFA program and we talked about regrets before a row of sinks in the bathrooms. She had some, though she didn’t like to use the word. Neither of us had reached the attainable dream—it had seemed so attainable back then, how misguided we were!—of being a published novelist by now. She had moved on. I realize, looking back on our conversation, that she may have assumed I’ve given up. I haven’t given up! Not even close!

I felt a touch motivated after the meeting. And then, the next morning, it all fell away and I didn’t get much done. I kept going between stories—tweaking something here, slipping in a new line there—unable to just roll up my sleeves and commit.

I should try something new today. I shouldn’t be afraid to fail. I should throw out my Airport card so I can’t connect to the Internet. I should—oh, the advice swims in my head. I just have to remember why I’m here: like that guy in the Memento movie had tattooed his reasons all over his chest. Where did I put mine?

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4 thoughts on “Kick Me

  1. Naughty Heather January 15, 2007 / 10:19 am

    Maybe you should do like the experts say you are supposed to when you hit a low point with your sex drive – you are supposed to FORBID yourself to have sex….so do the same with writing. No writing, no tweaking, no editing…nothing until you just HAVE to, you CAN’T NOT write…

    I dunno. Maybe!
    🙂

  2. e January 15, 2007 / 2:56 pm

    “I should throw out my Airport card so I can’t connect to the Internet.”

    well it seems that the universe is listening… i’ll let nova fill you all in with the details, but the coincidence is very interesting.

    “you are supposed to FORBID yourself to have sex”

    please, no.

  3. mel January 15, 2007 / 7:18 pm

    Oh Nova, I am right there with you. I am a sending you a virtual kick of inspiration from across the U.S. (followed by a hug). Now tattoo “Fiction Diva” somewhere on your person and go kick some ass!

    Naughty Heather – I see the psychology in that but I fear I’d totally leave writing by the wayside and have a crazy Netflix marathon till my eyes fell out of my head.

  4. nova January 16, 2007 / 8:15 am

    Okay, so as E hinted, I had some weird computer glitch that made me have to choose between being online and using Word. I chose Word. Can you believe it? Not that I wrote 500 pages or anything, but I did make an attempt and 3 or so pages came out.

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