Spam, in the form of an auto commercial

“Maryland Hyundai Car Dealer” has added a comment to this blog to ask me:

What do you think of the new Hyundai Sonata?

To be honest, Maryland Hyundai Car Dealer, I had thought nothing of it. I don’t even know what it looks like. In addition, I live in New York City, have no use for a car, and have never learned to drive. But I’ll tell you this: some of the happiest moments in my life have occurred inside a car made by Hyundai. The car was red; the boy is now my husband. Need I say more?

Oh, Maryland Hyundai Car Dealer, I can sense already that you’d like to know details. You want to know how I came to be inside your red car, how many miles we crossed in it, what we said to each other over the passing roads. You want to know our secrets. You want to know how far back I reclined my seat.

I’ll tell you that we once lost a tire—I think it was a tire—at least, it was a piece of your car, something important that fell off somewhere along Route 80. This was in the dead of winter, at night. We stood beside your car, shivering in the cold, hoping someone would come by and pick us up. Maryland Hyundai Car Dealer, this was when most people did not have cell phones, this was when we were young, when everything we owned was piled up in your trunk and on your seats. We were saved by a drunk man in a pickup truck. We knew he was drunk because he swerved, and slurred, and threw his empties out the window—we ducked. I think he may have laughed at your car, its pathetic little shape parked crooked on the shoulder of the highway. But he took us where he was headed anyway—the bar—and, there, we called for help.

And, Maryland Hyundai Car Dealer, do you know we’ve even driven your red car through your very own state? This is true—it was also winter then, we had come to visit friends who lived off the Beltway. I wonder, were you nearby? Did you see us in passing, on our way in, or out? Did you know that when we tried to leave we locked the keys inside and I can’t now, for the life of me, recall how we ever got them out?

But, Maryland Hyundai Car Dealer, you wrote to ask what I think of the new Hyundai Sonata. What I think is that I might like to borrow it, for an afternoon, if it comes in red. I can’t help but wonder if the engine stalls out in the rain, as the car I remember did, if the right side rattles, if it will one day end up as scrap. But more importantly, what do you think of the new Hyundai Sonata? You seem insecure. Don’t worry: it is quite possible to be happy in a Hyundai. You could drive through the night to see your girlfriend on the Fourth of July solely because you miss her. You could crawl your way over mountains—anything is possible. You could even fall in love.

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