My Brain Gets Revenge

The headache? It’s baaaaaaack. It started yesterday. Even after the pounding stopped I felt a tingling pool at the base of my neck, like my brain was floating loosely just under the skin. I took the day off from work today—I never use my sick days—but I have them, and I suppose they are meant to be used. This means that I also didn’t write today, not a word. This is not about what may or may not be medically wrong with me. Rather, I think my brain is trying to tell me something more symbolic…

It is not happy. Not with where we are (and by we I mean me, the person; and the brain inside me, which wants me to be a better person than I am, and constantly berates me for my shortcomings). Not with what we’re spending our days doing. Not with the plans that keep falling apart.

I don’t feel stressed out, but maybe I am and I just didn’t notice it. I must be putting pressure on myself when I’m sleeping: YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. YOU ARE NOT READING ENOUGH. YOU ARE NOT WRITING ENOUGH. YOU MAKE TOO MANY EXCUSES. YOU MAKE ME SICK.

All that caps-lock screaming would give anyone a headache. No wonder my brain is coming loose.

4 responses to “My Brain Gets Revenge”

  1. Naughty Heather says:

    Nova, darling, there is nothing I can say to make it better! Sending good energy your way – speedy retreat of the headache monster!

  2. I have similar conversations with my brain. I try to push it down and it rewards me with anxieties. Bastard.

  3. jadepark says:

    Oh no! I get migraines, they are HELL! I wish you much relaxation and peace and for the headache to GO AWAY and NEVER return! (see? you are not the only one on caps-lock).

    I am sending you lots of positive thoughts!

  4. w says:

    Yikes, sending you good vibes. I wonder if it could be a weather-related reaction as well?

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