Everlasting Debt

The iBook being unsalvageable (though E plans to take it apart and see what can be done with its parts), I am now right back where I started. The universe works in mysterious ways. At the moment the universe seems to want me in huge debt and filled with guilt over buying a new computer because (1) I can’t afford it and credit makes it seem like you can afford something and then you hate yourself for it later, and (2) I seem to be still in mourning over the loss of my little computer—in that picture I was at the height of inspiration and I wanted to wake each morning to kiss it, and (3) I never had to buy a computer after one broke so suddenly before; it made me realize how tied I am to writing on a machine. That is not good.

My new laptop has not been written on yet. It looks almost like my iBook, except wider and flatter. The trackpad actually works. It’s faster. I am not yet used to the keyboard and seem to be typing everything one key to the right (?). I am still trying to recreate my iTunes library. But the new laptop is from California, which I happen to like.

Still, this isn’t how I planned to get a new computer. It was supposed to be a present to myself when I one day sold a novel. Yes, I bribe myself in many, many ways. I was supposed to pay it in full, right up front, with cash, and touch my fingers against the new soft keys and know I earned them. I will have to work long and hard to earn this.

So happy birthday to me, if you want to look at it that way.

In other news, Apple sent me an email asking what I thought of my recent support call. Do they really want to know what I think? They should help me pay for this new laptop, that’s what I think. They should apologize for selling a computer with a ticking time bomb inside and then saying too many years have passed to fix it. Ironically, the laptop that came before the iBook is still alive and kicking—my infamous clamshell (“toilet seat”) model. I gave it to my mother years ago and she still uses it. How can that computer be perfectly functional when my other died a loud and sudden death? Another mystery of the universe. I feel older and wiser today.

Note to anyone who has a Mac: Check for recalls! Often! They will fix these things for free if and only if you aren’t too late like I was. Of course, if you have no problems whatsoever how are you supposed to know that your logic board is about to detonate? I have no clue. Still, check to be safe. Don’t let this happen to you.

p.s. Thank you, E. And sorry. For everything. 


  1. I’m sorry about your iBook 😦

    But I hope you adjust to your new machine (new keyboards are so hard!! My fingers are perfectly in tune with the one I am typing on now and it all goes to heck if I have to use someone else’s for whatever reason) and that you and it can have as good a working relationship as your iBook.

  2. Keep the cash-only mentality, dollface. I’m proud of you for it. Sorry that your computer decided to go belly-up on you, but don’t lose hope. Pretty soon you’ll hit the big-time with your writing and be making some serious dough. The more you stay away from debt now, the better you’ll spend money then. Good luck, baby!

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