I tried to communicate with someone at work, but my blank email meant nothing to her. I tried to explain that it was an artistic representation of how I was feeling at the moment, as shown here:
…But she didn’t get it.
My blank mood occurred directly after an email forward saying:
Right now, I feel just ——————————–
Maybe not. I feel so misunderstood right now, made worse by the fact that I can’t find the words to explain myself. Why are you down? No real reason. What do you want to do about it? Nothing. What are you doing this morning? Well, I’m up early but I’m not exactly writing. My inspiration has escaped and without it there’s not too much left.
Fact is, I started a new book. Not symbolically… actually. I’m at the very beginning stage, the tip, the edge, my toes just touching the water now. The going was smooth for a few days, and then—
And then here we are. Only day four and the doubt has set in. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone back through my email archives to read old rejection letters, huh? Seeing the news about a certain fellowship made me skid a little last night. (Thanks, Jade, for posting that. I’d rather know now.) A mouse in the apartment did not help. A possible problem with my new computer—for which I’d have to send it in—did not help.
I’m just feeling, I don’t know, a little
I’ll find the words to explain it tomorrow.