So I wasn’t sick. I wasn’t sick all week. Oh, who am I kidding. I had a cold. And I was so exhausted after not being sick that this week I slept in every day and ended up writing only 2 pages toward the final 80 due in less than a week. So you could say I am s-c-r-e-w-e-d. I don’t want to have to ask for an extension, but I feel like I lost so much time… I’ll see how this weekend goes.
I need to reach deep down inside me and find that motivated, driven person, drag her out, and force her to work like a maniac this weekend.
She’s in there.
I know it.
Somewhere.
Soon, so very soon, this will all be over. I mean, sure, there will be revisions, but you will be proud of me, I am proud of me, that I turned down two freelance writing projects, one just yesterday. It’s time to remember what I wanted from life. I mean, what was the point of this and this and this and this and this, what is the point of anything really, if I am not in this for myself, writing what I want to be writing?
I’ve been scared; that’s what it is. I don’t want to be rejected again, so my defense has been to just stop trying. I’m embarrassed to admit that, but I can see it clearly now.
I want to try to start trying again. I’m so easily crushed—it’s easier than it sounds.
One response to “What’s in Me”
There is definitely no dishonour in asking for an extension when needed. Good luck.