I’m sorry, but the writing is just really flat. I’m not sure how to get around this—keep blasting through? take a moment to think? (when? during work? on the subway? at night when I am too tired to move? between headaches?) start over? again? delve deep into my character, much-needed, get through to who she is and past all these doubts? give up trying to be poetic and write anyway? just type? just randomly type? as I am doing now?

It seems that not even NaNoWriMo can save me from myself.

Yesterday I wrote no words, so I’m a little behind. Today I am trying, but all I can think is Damn, this is no good. And now I remember why it takes me so long (years; I do not exaggerate when I say years) to write a real novel.

It might be the voice.

It might be that the voice isn’t working.

I might have to finish this draft in the third person.

Shocker.

But, really, where else do I go from here? I might try it.