confessions / distractions / rejection


vent /vɛnt/ (noun)
1. an opening, as in a wall, serving as an outlet for air, smoke, fumes, or the like. 2. an opening at the earth’s surface from which volcanic material, as lava, steam, or gas, is emitted. 3. Zoology. the anal or excretory opening of animals, esp. of those below mammals, as birds and reptiles. 4. the small opening at the breech of a gun by which fire is communicated to the charge. 5. a means of exit or escape; an outlet, as from confinement. 6. expression; utterance; release: to give vent to one’s emotions. 7. Obsolete. the act or fact of venting; emission or discharge.

I am not sure what category of definition this post will fall into, #3 or #5 or #6, but here goes…

I am sorry to say that my health isn’t all that, and it has my mother and husband (who would’ve thought I’d ever have a husband? well, I have one) worried, and the doctor is even considering the thing I had been hoping it wasn’t and is testing me for it next week, and I just think it is NOT FAIR and will I have to become a macrobiotic to not die, will I have to join a gym and actually go to it, and is this what it means to grow up and get old, you have to take care of yourself and eat vegetables, really?


Now that that’s out of my system, at least there’s some good news: my sample was chosen for the lower YA series I was auditioning for, so I will be writing book #1. I am concerned about time—knowing I will put this project first, what will suffer, my health more than it already has, my novel-in-progress, my stories, my day job, my opportunities to goof off? Surely at least the goofing off. Either way, I’m excited. I wanted the chance to show a range and writing the sample was a lot more fun than I expected. I was telling myself not to be disappointed if they didn’t pick me, and then they picked me so yay. Also, many other things to do on the horizon—this weekend I will be watching noir films for inspiration for another project entirely—so this is not the time to feel worn out.

Perk up.

Now, to complete the vent, I will leave my latest rejections, spread out not even artistically on the couch:


What I should be doing is dyeing my roots for the company party tomorrow night, but I’m just not up for it. The dyeing, the party, the blood tests, not in the mood.

It is time for something therapeutic. Thus, I have snagged the latest issue of Vanity Fair. I also have this:


It looks so very yummy.

10 thoughts on “Vent

  1. It sucks to face setbacks especially with health–they force you to step back and change your life and perspective, always uncomfortable, and many times difficult. I hope that any changes you make will entitle things that make you feel better and pamper yourself. 🙂

  2. Ugh – so sorry about the potential for bad news from your doctor. I’m sending lots and lots of warm thoughts to help things go a different way, a less drastic way. No need for all this microyuck or work out routine stuff (pshaw!)

    (PS – congrats on the good news about your sample! And please enjoy that book…I could use a book and some quiet myself.)

  3. btw I don’t know why I wrote “entitle things”–I’ve been having weird word burps. I meant to say that I hope any changes you make will result in things that make you feel better and pamper yourself.🙂

  4. I feel better this morning… I guess sometimes you just need a smack on the head to make an effort to be healthy. Hopefully I still have the time before it gets serious. I really don’t want to be such a baby.

    As for the new freelance project writing the YA novel… I am honestly really excited. But I’m waiting on the official full concept from the editor before I can start the outline (and we’re meeting to discuss it in person first), and the outlines for the other two short projects are with editors and comments pending… So that means… that this morning I can work on only my own stuff! Which is good.

  5. So sorry to hear about the health issues and BIG YAY on the ya novel!!

    Nice collection of slips you have there – I think they look particularly artistic🙂

  6. I’m sorry your having health issues–I’m totally sending all good thoughts and vibes your way & hoping for the best. The best part about finding out is that you can start taking care of it and feeling better. I hope you feel better soon.

    & Congrats on your sample being picked! That’s fantastic!!!

  7. Pingback: Actually… « distraction no. 99

  8. Those rejection letters spread out — I’m going to be posting that kind of picture too in the next few months, having sent some stories out to many, many, many journals. I’ll show you mine, and that should make you feel a lot better, Nova, because they will cover our entire living room floor.

    And good news about the YA novel, and glad to hear you’re on the mend.

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