Warning: Ugly Ahead

If you know me in real life, please be warned: March will be ugly. It is very likely that I will be a monster for the rest of the month, possibly into early April. I can feel myself going rotten already, and I’m not yet clear on how bad it will get.

So you’re aware, I am trying desperately to write a work-for-hire novel (WFH) that I’ve had doubts about since the beginning and now it’s far too late to back out. WFH is not going well. WFH is in peril. WFH will not be turned in by deadline—I’ve already asked for an extra week. WFH makes me miserable and melodramatic and may well ruin my reputation as a work-for-hire writer for all future WFHs because I am very, very afraid I won’t be able to pull this one off.

All that is to say, if you see or talk to me this month, please don’t take it personally if I snap. Prepare for ugly. In advance I would like to say: I am very sorry.

That is all. Thank you for listening!


8 responses to “Warning: Ugly Ahead”

  1. I’ll be very, very, very careful. Don’t yell at me, but the truth is, you’ll finish WFH (that could stand for a lot of things, you know, and I’m sure you’ve thought of a few of them), and it’ll be just fine. It’s just such a slog, which is a shame, but still, appropriate for March, which is a bit of a sloggy month.


  2. Hey, if anyone gets all takin’ it personally: you totally warned them. Eek. You’ll get through it, Nova!! I’m rooting for you… and if it’s gonna be ugly, here’s hoping it goes by fast!!!


  3. Thanks, guys. I will try to finish it as soon as possible! I wish there was some bit of magic I could do to write this better… and faster…


  4. Ugh. I hate this time of year too – a friend of mine dubbed in “Farch” – which I find completely appropriate. An ugly name for an ugly time of year.

    Best of luck getting to the finish line…


  5. Hey there Nova. Sorry to hear you’re having a rough go. Here’s all the happy, fantastic writing vibes I can spare!!! I wanted to let you know that I’ve left Phantom Keyboard behind and moved on to


    would you mind updating your link? You know, when you have time 😉


  6. I’d like to hear more about the WFH novel, although it sounds as if you find it gruesome. I’ve never heard of this, and am impressed that you got such a gig.

    But I hope it’s over quickly if it is that ghastly.

    Keep pluggin’.


  7. Hi, LK. I don’t want to give too much away about the work-for-hire novel because I am not writing it under my real name, and because, well, it’s not what I thought I’d be doing with my life, but you know, it pays… And getting paid to write fiction still feels pretty great to me, most days.

    This is one of those mass market books that editors farm out to freelance writers — I do work-for-hire writing for young adults, but I bet people do it for romance or erotica or stuff like that? Basically, the editors come up with the characters, the concept, and — in this case — much of the plot, and then they assign it to a writer to write it for them. Usually you don’t get your name on the book because there is a house pseudonym (like with the Nancy Drew books; there was no “Carolyn Keene”), and you get a one-time fee: no royalties. To get assignments like this you sample for it — write a chapter or two on spec. That’s how I got this one.

    I thought I’d do a better job of it, but I’m afraid I’m having more trouble getting into this story than expected. I look forward to finishing and returning to my own novel! Thanks for the support 🙂


%d bloggers like this: