Things That Have Not Happened

I did not get a residency to the writers colony in the old haunted mansion where I would have most likely been unable to sleep for fear of seeing/hearing/feeling the fingers on my face of ghosts, and, besides, I don’t have the vacation time at work to do something like that, and, not to mention, the last time I went away to a writers colony for a month my poor other half almost suffocated on the bedsheets because he missed me so much. And I, him.

I did not get a scholarship to a writers conference in Vermont—specifically because, this year, I did not apply for the conference or for the scholarship. This is the first year I’ve given up on trying for scholarships to go there. The closest I’ve ever got was to be waitlisted to be a waiter—who gets waitlisted to wait tables for the summer? Hello, I did. Such are my accomplishments.

I did not get my two new stories published in the places I sent them to. Not in my favorite magazines, not in my less favorite magazines, not in magazines I’ve never seen in person. I also have not yet built up the energy to send them out again.

I did not get into the one-day master class with the famous writer where I would have workshopped a very new story that I know needs work and I am kicking myself for not sending a sample that was more polished but then again why send something that is polished to workshop when I needed help with something else?

I did not get the fellowship to live in California and write fiction at the fancy university like a rock star. Well, a very poor rock star. Because the fellowship would barely have covered living expenses and I have no idea how e and I would have made it out there and found someplace to work and live and exist, but there’s no use worrying about it now because they didn’t pick me.

All these things have not happened to me recently.

For that matter, I have not yet won the lotto. Or grown a third leg.

In exchange, other things will happen. The universe gives and takes away, so I am thinking. It says no, then it says maybe, and then it says yes. I’ll let you know when I hear that yes.

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