…is sitting right here, her hands on my keyboard. She thinks she’s helping me write my novel. But what she’s really doing is spewing out the longest so-called outline in the history of the world, saying it’s the only way she knows how to write this novel, though she knows it’s completely unnecessary and she’s only making things harder. She’s writing the rest of the book when she knows she’s not supposed to be writing the rest of the book, and I can’t seem to stop her! And whenever she gets to a difficult scene she makes excuses and erases things and says downers like “I caaaan’t!” and goes online to check Facebook or message boards or blogs and then she looks back at her progress and panics at the chapters left to do and gives me heart palpitations.

I wish she’d leave me alone so I could write!