That Thing I Shouldn’t Talk About

On my mind right now, that thing never to talk about in mixed company, or any company, ever: Money.

Just came back from shocking someone into a stupor with the realities of our situation. I think she felt very sorry for us. Or thought we were very stupid. Or both. Hey, artists: If you’re seeking an MFA and can’t pay for it yourself out-of-pocket, maybe don’t get one. And, on that note, if you want to travel to Paris and can’t pay for it yourself out-of-pocket, maybe don’t go to Paris.

Anyway, we’re moving ahead at long last with trying to get our heads above water, or closer to it anyway. There’s this weird reality we’ve been living in now in which you only buy things you can afford. Real people do this all the time! In our case, it just means we’re not buying much of anything. I won’t be getting new clothes for the summer and I will be gluing my sandals together so I can wear them another season. There’s nothing wrong with that. This week I wore a purple-striped concoction to work with some weird shirt over it because I found both in the suitcase and hadn’t seen them in so long so they felt like new clothes. Of course, once I saw myself in the full-length mirror at work I regretted that I’d gotten dressed in the dark and didn’t notice that my blacks didn’t match. I hate when a warm black clashes with a cool black, don’t you? Then again who cares. Fact is, I just really like stripes.

In other weird news, I’ve lost a little weight lately due to this new medication I’m on, which also happens to be giving me a lot of energy, and I am totally cool with both side effects.

Also, if you’re curious about the writing:

My agent likes my new chapters 🙂 🙂 🙂

He’s awesome. I’m so happy I picked him. Best decision I’ve made in a long time.

All I have to do now is, um, write that plot summary—AND IT’S KILLING ME AND PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!—oh, I’m so dramatic. Give me a week; it’ll be fine.

I’m in this strange spot where some things are falling apart all around me and yet other things are pretty good. So there are ups and downs and that’s life and I never thought I’d be here eating a bag of raw string beans talking about some agent who likes my chapters, but here I am, eating vegetables, voluntarily, and being responsible, voluntarily, like a grown-up with a literary agent and everything.

Just…

Wow.

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