Connections and Disconnections

I’ve been away at the residency in the gorgeous California mountains for four weeks as of today—and I leave for the flight home on Thursday.

I got some good work done here (one piece in particular is especially exciting… E knows what piece I mean), much of which will need to be continued once I get back, but I’m ready to go home now. To E! Also, to my routines. To all the very many things I need to do once I get there because I’m getting overwhelmed just thinking about it. And to, you know, my life, which I guess is still waiting for me. I sure hope it is.

I’ve realized that being away for all this time has made me feel strange. I feel so disconnected, even though I have been checking in online. Part of me wonders if people are being polite, knowing I’m at a retreat, and not contacting me. The other part of me looks at the Twitter stream and all the tiny faces going by and feels absolutely separate from all of it, like when I tweet I’m talking to a wall and no one hears me. Have I made this up? Created this feeling because I feel so physically far away? When I’m not on the East Coast do I disappear? Strangeness.

All I know is I want to do the following things once I get home and they have nothing to do with the internet, so maybe feeling disconnected from the exciting world of Twitter isn’t such a bad thing… I want to:

• Blast my music and make a lot of noise

• Order Thai takeout online

• Get a slice of Joe’s pizza

• Watch all the TV I missed (ahem, Mad Men)

• Go outside at like one in the morning for a random item at the bodega across the street just because I can

• Walk through Washington Square Park in the evening when the lamps come on and remember why I truly love this city

• Eat an actual bagel (not bread with a hole in the middle), sesame and with cream cheese and toasted perfectly and served to me in a basket while I sit in a crowded café staring at strangers

• Go to the New York Public Library and take out as many YA novels as I can physically carry

• Travel somewhere on the subway without ever having to set foot in a car

• Dance around my living room and make a big, gigantic mess

• Most importantly, see E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss him so much.

So I may be a tad homesick for NYC, but what an incredible, creative, inspiring experience I had here. Bet you I’ll be homesick for Djerassi as soon as I touch ground on the East Coast. I met some amazing people here, and I hope we stay connected beyond our time on this mountain.

p.s. to Writers, Visual Artists, Media Artists, Composers, Choreographers: You should apply to come here. The next deadline is in February, so keep it in mind for the future! We just saw the stacks of admissions applications in the office tonight… good luck to everyone who sent in an application. I hope you’ll have a chance to spend an amazing month here!

p.p.s. I’d meant to post about my awesome San Francisco/Berkeley trip, but I’ve been working on a novel and haven’t gotten to it yet. I will try, but here’s a peek of me in my first tourist T-shirt I’ve bought in probably 20 years (of course it’s for a bookstore):

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