We’ve been talking about revision lately in my online YA Novel Writing Class with Mediabistro—which has been such a great experience, and ends in about a week! (If you want to take this class, I have no plans right now to teach it again, but my friend and incredibly talented author and teacher Micol Ostow is heading up the same class starting in September. I highly recommend Micol’s class, and here’s where you can enroll.)

Revision has been on our minds partly because the last assignment is for revised pages, but also because it’s looming there on the horizon for all the first drafts, class assignment or no… When the first draft is done, they will have to revise. We all will. A book won’t get done without revision, and I know how all the hard work eking out those first-draft pages can appear so futile when you look ahead and know you’ll only have to make changes later.

And make changes after that. And make changes after that. Honestly, in my experience, there have always been multiple rounds of revision. I’m always writing toward what my book is meant to be, and though I do love this discovery process, when I’m up against a deadline and an inability to make things perfect, it can be very disheartening.

I have to tell you, I’ve been frustrated with myself as I’ve been working through revisions on 17 & Gone these past months. First off, frustrated that I can’t seem to articulate certain changes I’ve known I’d have to do for two drafts now. Also because my attempt at fixing things sometimes works to break them worse than before. And simply because I wish I could just get it the first time. Why can’t I just GET IT RIGHT the first time?

My editor seems to think it’s perfectly normal for a book to go through multiple rounds of revision like this and for a writer to be getting closer and closer to what she is trying to say with each new draft. She doesn’t seem to think I’m an alien or a hack because I need these revisions. This is what she tells me, so I am choosing to believe her.

It’s what I told my class, too, so I should believe what I’m saying, yes?

I do believe it. But when you’re deep in it, the end seems so very far away. I keep thinking it will be easier and faster with each new book, but I’m not sure. I do know that I’ve learned some things with this book that I plan to do differently next time. So maybe it will be faster? Check back with me in a year or two.

Sure, I wish I could get it right the first time, but my words don’t come out that way. Perhaps there are some magical writing creatures who know the exact right words from the beginning (do these mythical writers exist?)—but most of us will only get our books to be better by going back. By revising.

So that’s what I’m doing this week. Working on my book some more to make it as good as I can. I’m close, though. I can feel it.